Ready To Upgrade Old Behavior Patterns And Live The Life You’ve Been Dreaming Of?: These Three Steps Will Get You Started
Upgrading Is A Process
While it may look different for each of us, we’ve surely all been there: Doing the same thing and getting the same results. Getting yourself so worn down from working so much that you manage to get a sinus infection, again. Saying “Yes”, again, when it’s a definite “Hell No!”. Putting on a smile when you want to be honest about a struggle you’re enduring. Pushing through your day with an endless loop of negative self-talk that brings you down, minute by minute, hour by hour.
These are the more obvious cases of behavior patterns ready for an upgrade. They impact your mental and physical health and you can see them from a mile away Even if you do nothing about them, you can see them.
Perhaps the sneakiest of old behavior patterns are less obvious. You may have things going well in your relationship and then you, once again, say something snippy, rude or backhandedly mean to your partner. You may find a great outfit for an upcoming event. You love it, buy it, and then say something about your appearance to yourself when you go to put it on for that event. You may be getting yourself into a steady exercise routine and then begin to scroll on social media. Looking at the bodies of others gives you a chance to compare and despair, and you take the next day “as a rest day”, and the next, and the next.
Whatever your old behavior patterns, this week we’d like to offer a three step starter pack for addressing them so you can live the life you want with intention.
If you’re looking for more, you can always check out our Coaching Page to learn how we take this work to the next level. (Don’t worry, we’ll remind you again at the end of this article!)
So let’s get started
Step 1: Envision Your Life As You Would Like To Create It (Create A Vision For Your Life)
One of our favorite ways to kick old behavior patterns to the curb is to see what life would be like if we were to do just that. When we explore our desires, passions, goals, and things that really light us up, we get to create a life full of the things we love and the feelings we’re craving.
You can design a life for yourself, one that includes your work goals, emotional goals, creative goals, health goals, or any area where you find yourself ready for a new vision.
We recommend breaking your life into sections and deciding on the things, thoughts, feelings, experiences, and people you’d like to make a part of those different areas.
Maybe you want to live on an island and run a surf camp that uses its proceeds to benefit an underserved part of your community.
Maybe you want to feel healthier or more fit. Maybe you’d like to feel attractive or empowered. Maybe you want to raise a family. Maybe you want to live in New York City for a month, or Tokyo for a year.
And maybe your vision is simpler and more subtle. Maybe it’s the satisfaction of a job well done being acknowledged, of raising thoughtful kind children, or of making a difference in your community, or caring for your parents as they age.
The beauty of creating a vision is that there is no wrong way to do so.
Step 2: Shed Light On What’s Not Working (Identify Old, Ineffective, Painful Behavior Patterns)
The next step is crucial. Once you have your vision you can explore the things (people, thoughts, feelings, actions, experiences, circumstances) that are bringing you toward or away from that vision.
This is the act of identifying old, subtly or obviously unhelpful behavior patterns.
You might notice that when you’re nervous you put things off to the last minute and then don’t have time to do them well. You may find that you say mean things when you haven’t had a moment to rest. You might find that you keep getting sick and that what or how you're eating may play a role in that.
Bringing your attention to what isn’t working can help you decide, on purpose, what needs to change.
Step 3: Create Your Life With Intention (Move Toward Your Vision, Not Just Away From Pain)
While it is far easier to continue to bring up thoughts of “This isn’t working” for yourself, the last step can often be the most transformative.
Once we have our vision, and clarity on the things that might not be serving us, we can begin to do the work of creating our lives, rather than passively going through the motions.
Living our lives with intention means moving toward our vision. While some parts of that will feel like a roar, like climbing to a mountain top for a spectacular view, the truth is that it may also challenge us.
Think about it. Is it easier to lay on the couch binging a television series or to head to a yoga class, a healing session, or a local organization to volunteer. If we stay too long in the comfort of our old ways, our vision may dim, and our desire to live it out with intention might follow suit.
So this new life, this intentionally lived one...We may find that it’s uncomfortable, that we just don’t feel like ourselves, that we’re growing and stretching, and it may even be painful.
When we choose to create our life with intention we can no longer hide behind “I don’t know.” or “I’ve always done it that way.” We now choose to face life as it is to create life as we want it to be. This means facing difficult feelings and allowing them to be there with us as we go through life because we are choosing what is good for our up-leveling rather than what is easiest or most comfortable.
A Final Note On Making Life’s Most Important Upgrades
When we explore our vision for our life, understand what isn’t working, and decide to move forward with creating our life with intention we are on our way to upgrading old behavior patterns.
If this work intrigues you, be sure to check out our Coaching page for information about how to work with Courtney. She’ll help you bring this work, and it’s awesome impact, into your life.
Making your vision a reality and not having to go it alone. How’s that for an upgrade?